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About Me

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Hi, I’m Vern — a brand new mom, registered nurse, and full-time snack dispenser to three dogs, a cat, and now a tiny human who just moved into my uterus and then out into my living room.

I live in Colorado, where the air is thin, the weather is chaotic, and so is my life. When I’m not trying to figure out how to keep a baby alive (while also wondering if I’ve fed the dogs), I’m writing unfiltered, real-as-hell posts about pregnancy, postpartum, parenting, and all the wild stuff no one says out loud.

This blog is for the moms who feel blessed but also feel like they’re unraveling. The moms who love their babies but also want to scream into a pillow. The moms who say “what the actual f*ck” on a daily basis.

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If you're here for honesty, chaos, and community—you’re in the right place.

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About Wipes, Wine & WiFi

 

This is not your typical mom blog.

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This space was built for the ones whispering “what the actual f*ck” under their breath before 9 a.m.

For the moms crying over formula labels, celebrating a 12-minute nap like it’s a spiritual awakening, and rage-Googling symptoms at 3:14 a.m. This is for you.

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Motherhood is beautiful. But also? It’s brutal.
It’s weird and wild and lonely and hilarious in the most unhinged ways. There’s no manual, no guaranteed sleep, and definitely no universal advice that works for everyone. So instead, we’re telling the truth here. The messy, nipple-leaking, emotionally fried kind of truth.

This blog exists so you know you're not doing it wrong—you’re just doing it real.

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And here’s the thing:
I’m a brand new mom too. I know nothing. I won’t pretend I do. I’m not here to teach—I’m here to witness. To spiral with you, laugh with you, and celebrate this wildly tender time we’re in.

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This blog is for:

  • New moms navigating the emotional minefield

  • Partners trying to help without fully understanding

  • Families learning what support actually looks like

  • Anyone who needs to feel less alone in the mess

 

What you’ll find here:

  • Weekly spirals that validate instead of fix

  • Relatable breakdowns from pregnancy through postpartum

  • Honest stories about identity loss, sleep deprivation, and unsolicited advice rage

  • Tiny wins, giant feelings, and the weird magic of loving your baby while also losing your sh*t

 

There’s no judgment here. Just other humans doing their best, quietly unraveling, and loving hard through it all.

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Welcome to the chaos. You’re not broken. You’re just becoming.

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